tired

So I'm a big kid now. I have my plane ticket bought, I just worked a 40 hour week, I have rent to pay and a few other minor expenses. But I'm still just a big kid, or maybe big baby, which was evidenced by my outburst this morning.

Yesterday was my sister's 16th birthday. She got sick and I picked her up from school early (during my lunch of course). She threw up all afternoon. What a great way to spend your birthday right? But she did get to open her presents later which included Step Up 2 and a feather headband from me. (The headbands came in a three pack--Target--and I kept two for myself. What kind of present giving sister am I?) But we stayed up late watching the entire movie and all I wanted to do afterward was dance. When I got up to bed I had the same exhausted feeling I feel whenever I come back from a particularly rowdy dance party. (Usually the one where I'm out of control, dancing on couches, jumping into dance circles of people I don't know, moving my body like a cyclone, and walking it out like an absolute maniac.) But I couldn't fall asleep. Just like I can't do when I leave a good party. I think I talked on the phone after one till three or four in the morning because I was so wired. It's a good thing I didn't have any caffeine or I would stay up all night! So, back to last night. I laid in bed contemplating the mysteries of life, not, but tried to will myself to sleep. Evenually it worked because this morning I got woken up by my dad telling me one of his office workers was sick and that I would need to come in and work for her. I started crying. It wasn't just a regular throat hurting, tears welling up in the eyes cry--you know, the ones that start when you're saying goodbye, or trying not to cry in front of a group, or when you're speaking in church, or when you're watching a movie. This was an all out, sob. I rolled over in bed and the tears just came as my body shook, my mind angry that I thought I was going to get a day off and I hadn't slept enough and I knew I was going to be running around on my feet all day taking care of patients. I eventually forced myself out of bed, told my dad I could probably be there by 8:30, looked for my scrubs, and climbed in the shower. I was still teary, but now they were angry tears filled with emotion. I grumbled about how dumb it is that the gal who is "sick" just had a four day weekend, then worked one day and then wants another off. She gets a four day weekend every weekend! Interrupting my literal crying and moaning was a knock, my mom, telling me that the "sick" lady was going to work. I huffed in frustration, this time because it would have been nice to know this before I got in the shower so that I could have climbed back into bed and slept more, but the water had sufficiently done it's job and woken me up. I put on my gym clothes so I'm ready for my run with Pups, our dog.

The moral of the story: Don't bother me when I'm tired.