Things I'm Not Good At

Now that might sound like a really strange, self criticizing title, but hang with me here, it's not things I'm legitimately bad at like saaaayyyy, playing the piano, shooting three pointers, or painting (but those are things my sisters are good at), these are simple, easy things that seem really ridiculous that I'm not good at.

1. knowing my left from my right. I ALWAYS give people the wrong directions. Even though I'm really good at directions and knowing where I am and rarely getting lost, I still tell people my house is on the right side of the road when I clearly and thinking left.
2. cooking rice. How can someone be bad at cooking rice? I don't know, but I am. I rarely eat rice because cooking it stresses me out. Give me a multi-flavored cake, no problem. Throw a recipe I've never made before at me? That sounds exciting. But rice? Have someone else cook it. Except tonight where I'm making THIS, THIS, and THIS for dinner with my roommates and rice needs to be served.
3. not talking during class. I can't help it. It's a curse. My kindergarden "Indian Native American" Name was Little Babbling Brook. I've been chatty my whole life. And I especially cannot stay quite in church.
4. scooping litter box waste. Still can't do it. I'm still gagging. I bought gum, I plug my nose, I close my eyes (bad idea), and I still gag so hard I think I'm going to loose my last meal. So, I was a bad cat mama and didn't clean out the box for a few days. (Ok ok ok, like five days. Oops, that's kind of a really long time.) Well, they should be grateful, I went above and beyond my duty as a cat sitter and cleaned out that blasted litter box. I gagged once (more like a dry heave really) and then was done! Hoorah for me!

And for something I'm good at.

1. I can juggle. Thank you elementary school P.E.

What random things are you not good at? Or are good at?

Gag Reflex

(Note: If you don't like animals, maybe you shouldn't read this whole post. Just read the first paragraph and then skip to the star or something.)

Starting a couple days ago I am house/cat sitting for a coworker of mine. I am a DC resident for two weeks (I like to think of it as a trial run for moving into the District) and I'm living alone. And after two nights I'm loving the quiet, the peace, even the company of the cats.*

Except I'm hating one thing. The litter box. Ew gross, just the thought of cleaning out the clumps of sandy cat waste is grossing me out. Grossing me out so bad that yesterday I bought gum to chew so I wouldn't smell, and then I plugged my nose for good measure. No smelling but then I just started gagging. Serious gags, like I'm about to puke gags. And I don't want to lean over the toilet and throw up in there because that's where I just scooped that sandy pee clump. Ewwww. Shudder.

And I have 12 more days of it. I'm afraid to clean out the box. I really hate throwing up.

Any advice from cat owners, lovers out there?


*That makes me sound like a sad cat lady. I don't know if I should be embarrassed or not. I'd be ok with a dog. A dog would be much better. And I wouldn't mind the dog coming up and trying to get me to play with it. These cats, unfortunately for them only get the minimal attention. That's kind of sad for them actually. I'll be nicer if they stopped running away anytime I wasn't feeding them. (And maybe if it wasn't for the whole litter box thing.)

Obnoxious Commute

picture of me, Meg and Lincoln from this weekend,
it really has nothing to do with this post, i just thought a picture necessary

Today's commute was especially obnoxious. Everyone was bugging me. And when I say bugging me I really mean buuuugging me. Seriously. They were so obnoxious!

Bus: There's this guy who is on the bus everyday. He's always listening to his music. He is always standing at the front of the bus. And you know what bothers me about him? He NEVER moves back when more people come on. NEVER. "The driver on the bus says, 'Move on back, move on  back, move on back...' all through the town." No, the driver says "move on back" and this guy stays right where he is, firmly planted at the front of the bus while I have to squeeze past him, just to find a place to stand, and he DOESN'T. EVEN. MOVE. Gah. It buuuugs me.

Metro: I hate the rolling suitcases/briefcases people carry around. They make it difficult to get in and off the metro because you don't realize there's one in front of you until you've tripped over it. That happens daily. But what I hate even more is the people who don't think consciously about the people around them and whether or not their bags, their briefcases, or their suitcases are encroaching unnecessarily into other people's space. Today, I'm just standing on the metro, minding my own business, chatting with Lisa, when some guy with a HUGE shoulder briefcase/bag thing keeps pushing his way into me. First I feel the bag just below my bum, and that's always awkward when something is touching your bum and you aren't sure if it's a bag or someone else's body (the worst). So this guy keeps backing up, backing into me, pushing me with his bag and if I didn't move I was going to run into someone else who was staking out their spot by the door in the corner. So I moved to be more comfortable. But what does the guy do? He doesn't even realize he totally pushed me out of my spot and he continues to move in pushing his bag into everyone's space. Idiot.

Escalators: The escalators in DC are notorious for being constantly under repair. There are three escalators at my work metro stop, one elevator, no stairs. One escalator is at one end, it changes direction depending on the time of day (up in the morning, down in the evening). And then the other side has only had one working direction escalator for the past month or so. Annoying. Today however they only had the one side open. The other side was being fixed. So what does that mean? A THOUSAND people have to go up and down on the same escalator causing congestion and annoyance to yours truly.

But now it's 10 and I am not so annoyed anymore. Maybe it's because I wrote it all out? Or maybe it's because I had a piece of chocolate? Either way, we'll never know until I step on that bus tomorrow and Mr. I'm-So-Into-My-Music-I-Can't-EVEN-Budge-An-Inch sets it all off again.

(On a side note, I usually don't mind public transportation at all. I enjoy not having to pay a cent to get to work or enjoy my time in the city on the weekends. And never having to find parking? Awesome.)

In memorandum

 

Montgomery (Monte) G. Fish and Fireball F. Fish inhaled their last breath of tap (whoops) water August 22, 2011. The impact of their lives, although short, was felt by many.

Monte and Fireball began their lives in a large tank accompanied by many others. After a bucket of 50 ping-pong balls and proud owners, they were brought home to Fort Scott where they swam together, ate together (we think) and lived happily together.

Although the cause of death has yet to be determined it is believed lack of interest in food (starvation), tap water, or lack of the nightly ballad via the Gold MagicSing are the prime causes.

Monte and Fireball were preceded in death by Punkin Chunkin and MacDaddy who’s starvation led to premature death.

They are survived by their loving and proud owners, Jessica Payne and Lisa Carrier. For those wishing to pay their respects and serenade Monte and Fireball onto the next life, Memorial services will be held at Wednesday August 24 at 9:00 pm before flushing.

It's soooooo hooooot!

(The title has been intended to be read in a whiny voice.)

Let me tell you somethin', it is so hot today. I was sweatin' within one second of walkin' out my door. And I look extra sweaty too because my face sweats. A lot.

Exhibit A:

Yep, that's a picture of my sweaty nose. Who sweats on their nose?? Who takes a picture of their nose??

Today I made two choices while gettin' ready for work. The first affected the second. The first choice was a stupid one (wear a backpack) the second was a wise choice (wear a white shirt). Had I not had on that white shirt I most surely would have had a visible sweaty back. It's almost laughable that I picked up a gray shirt and considered wearing it for about, point one seconds.

Now, it has been 90 minutes since I first walked out my door this mornin', eating an egg in a basket that Debbie so sweetly made me, and my hair is now finally starting to dry. I've already gulped down two full bottles of water, I'm dreading the trek up the street to go to the bank*, and am not actually looking forward to a weekend without a pool. It's going to be miserable!

On a much cooler note, I borrowed my sister's ice cream maker last weekend and have yet to return it.** Soooo, we made Avocado Gelato (Iron Chef competition), Blueberry Frozen Yogurt (with fresh picked blueberries) and Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream. We are literally obsessed*** with it.

Have a lovely weekend ya'll! Stay cool. And yes, I wrote ya'll. You'd think I was from Texas or somethin' but for some reason, maybe the heat, I felt like most of this post was written with a southern accent. Now read it again with a twang.

*someone stupid (me) somehow had their debit card stolen (or picked up off the ground when the stupid person (me) didn't actually get the card back in their wallet) and treated a stranger to lunch, gas, and groceries before the bank suspected unusual activity and put a stop on the card

**You might not get it back till you ask for it Jess...

***something else I'm obsessed with: Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake and their history of rap. Part 1. Part 2.

Post Edit: Check this puppy out:

I should have stayed home...

Candid Picture

I think I've made it clear before that I don't do well in candid dancing photos (exhibits A, B, C). So when this picture popped up on facebook this morning, 

I was just speechless. Yeah, that's me in the middle with my eyes half open. Attractive Lauren. Attractive.

Too much.

Are you an idiot too? Do you talk too much too? We must share a life!

If you know me personally you know I like to talk. Too much. I think.
In kindergarten we were studying Native Americans. (Well in the 80s it was still Indians.) Anyway, every kid got an Indian name. My mom came up with mine: Little Babbling Brook. I had a tea dyed dress with fringe and beads and everything. (Not until I was in high school did I stop to think of the meaning of babbling.)
In 5th grade I was voted "Most Talkative" by fellow students.
Elementary school report cards have comments like, "A joy to have in class." Followed closely by, "Frequently distracted." and "Too talkative when should be completing tasks."

Ok, we get it, it's been a problem since birth. I always want to see what's going on, I always want to know what's happening and be "in the know". I've been trying to stop this for a while. Sometimes it just isn't my business to know thing, you know? (It's kind of like one of those innate things that I need to fix. Like my really intense competitiveness that I realized could be curbed if I just either a) didn't play the game at all or b) tried to be really really nice to the other players and see them how God sees them--this was the case with Flag Football or c) play a game without a winner.) So I realize there are just some things that aren't my business. I'm not fishing for info, I'm trying to not spread info, even if it seems harmless.

I have a friend from college who frequently would tell me to stop telling her a story about someone because she didn't want to have preconceived notions about them, or hear anything bad about the person. Though initially infuriating because I wanted to share, I realize that her example was something I needed to follow, and I have tried to not spread news, not seek out news or stories. 

Within the past few months however I have been accused twice of spreading information that was/is hurtful to a party. Each time, I was only partially privy to information and each time I realized that talking to anyone about the situation was inappropriate, even if it was in a completely non-gossipy, trying to get the full story to dispel the current belief way. Both of these situations have hurt someone or people, made them loose respect for me and caused me tears, nausea (because I feel so horrible) and stress.

(It makes me sound like I'm a horrible gossip. I'm really not, and in the case of both of those recent situations, what information was talked about was not talked about in a mean way or a judging way. But somehow me having talked about it was all that got back to the original person and then I become the gossip, the lie spreader, the big mouth.)

I'm not perfect. We all aren't perfect. But I am trying and doing my hardest to keep sensitive information sensitive. And good news private (until permission is granted to share). I don't think I'm a bad person, but you better believe I feel like one today!

And to those who might read this that I have hurt ever by what I have said. I deeply and truly apologize. I can't even tell you how absolutely horrendous I feel.

PS. In church two days ago we had a lesson about gossip and the teacher compared it to the Gulf Oil Spill and how we don't know the consequences yet of all that oil in the ocean, and just as is with gossip, we don't understand the repercussions what we say will have down the road. I'll say I didn't think the application of this would have come so soon. I wish the lesson could have also included how to make things right again.

Mice Update

Fort Scott House: 2                           Mice: 1

You know that mouse we caught this morning that "the exterminator" was going to take care of?

Gone.

Somehow that little guy fought his way off that sticky strip because all that's left is gnaw marks on my Harris Teeter bag and leftover fur on the strip. (Sorry if that grossed you out. Luckily there was no blood. That would have grossed me out.)

But we caught another downstairs in the basement. I will be setting more traps after a visit to Wal-Mart tonight.

Gross.

Also, I should stop reading The Tale of Despereaux that was lent to me by a friend. It's hard not to picture the little guy dying on his sticky strip when I read about cute little Despereaux!

Mice

Have you seen the movie or read the book, The Tale of Despereaux?

Have you seen Ratatouille?

If you have, you will think they are cute.
And you will think the little mouse with the big ears, or the little mouse who loves to cook are cute.

Fictional, personified mice are cute, adorable, teensie little creatures.

Real mice who you only ever see their dropping or gnaw marks are not. Finding their droppings is disgusting. Finding gnawing on your sleeve of multi-grain saltine crackers is gross. And hearing that your roommate saw one run across the floor of her bedroom is slightly terrifying.

But seeing a live mouse caught on a sticky strip mouse trap, looking up at you with his terrified little black eyes is heart wrenching and almost cruel.

And having guy friends that will come over and dispose of that mouse--without waving it in our faces or telling us they were going to run over it with their car to put it quickly out of it's misery, well not until after it was done that is-- was really awesome.

Unfortunately we caught another mouse in the same spot sometime in the middle of the night and will need the "exterminators" to come again tonight. But in the meantime I put a shoebox over the little guy and hope that he will accept his fate and stop trying to get away.

PS. The "exterminator" told me the first two times are free, but the third time isn't. I'm thinking, cookies or cupcakes are sufficient payment. Quinn? Thoughts?

Rompers

Today at work I took a poll amongst gchatters. "What do you think of rompers?" Accompanied by two links: one to Jcrew, and the other to Urban Outfitters. Then I sent the following email to my roommate/co-worker who is contemplating purchasing one as a swimsuit cover up:

The Great Romper Poll*

Like: 6 (this includes you and co-worker)         Dislike: 7 (this includes me)

Think you can only wear them if you have the right body: 5 (one of those votes is me)

*Note: some people polled have not returned comment.

Some important quotes supporting the numbers above:

• "I like them for the comfort factor, it's like the same feeling I have when I run into military people on the metro and am envious of their one piece jumpers." Erin 
• "I just think they're hideous, I mean, the jumpsuit is never coming back in why would you think that a sleeveless sort version of it would work? Not too mention, unless you have the perfect body all that will do is accentuate the mid section and expose the upper leg which is not always pretty, indeed, rarely is it pretty." Lee 
• "I think they're kind of cute, things usually grown on me, I don't love them now, but I also hated skinny jeans at first." Debbie 
• "Yikes. Pass." Andrea 
• "I think the right body type can pull them off, but would I wear them? Absolutely not." Amy 
•  "Not a big fan.  People can get away with it, but generally not the most flattering on anyone.  If you bought some I will still be your friend though." Holly 
•  "Cool. But your garments will show" Laney 
•  "I'm not into the whole hipster scene. Suit yourself. I don't care for it. Not cool." Quinn
• "Although they are clearly making an entrance into the summer 2010 scene and becoming less of an eye-sore each time I see a skinny girl rocking one, the risked camel toes and accentuated cellulite far out way the seldom romper success(-ish) story." Carly

I think I'd keep going but in reality it seems to be split about 50/50. But I still think they're ugly. 

Thoughts?