Last week I blogged once. Not that you sat around waiting for me to update. But it's unusual.
I don't know what's going on with me. I'm feeling weird lately. My brain has so many conflicting thoughts and emotions that are too private for me to blog openly about. Things I don't like discussing with anyone really.
I'm not particularly happy right now, but I wouldn't say I was unhappy either. I just am. Don't think I'm totally depressed or anything. I'm not. I have happy moments, I'm still quick to laugh and smile but I don't quite have something right now that is making me excited for the now, or looking forward to the future.
I'm not regretting my decision to move.
I have new friends here, but with new friends comes uncharted territory as you try and figure out how much you should hang out with someone without looking needy or how much affection to show just in case they aren't feeling the same way back etc.
I'm missing the familiarity that comes from living in the same place for years.
I'm missing the easiness of getting around with a car.
I'm missing not having to calculate the time difference for calling friends.
It's just a post graduation adjustment that I have to get used to.
4 comments:
Not to be all like, "Hey read my blog because it's super insightful and relevant" but this just reminded me a lot of the way I felt when I first moved to New York. About a month after I moved, I wrote this entry: http://redheadedchick.blogspot.com/2008/02/good.html
One of the hardest things was what you talk about with having new friends with whom you don't yet have the ease and familiarity (what I refer to as my "people"). It's particularly jarring after spending years at college with the same group of close friends.
Anyway, just know that I know exactly how you feel and I've been there. And while it takes some time, it most certainly gets better!
Oh Lauren. Amen.
i do sit around waiting for you to blog!!!!! just kidding well i hope you will feel better soon and let me know if you need anything!
hey lauren-
I am soooo with you there. Graduating has been rough on the best of us. There are some days it is especially hard for me, but others I just go throughout the day without thinking much about it. On those hard days I would give anything to be sitting on a bed chatting with old friends, with every guard down... yet I'm stuck here SO far from that. Basically all I'm trying to say is that there is nothing wrong with you. Post-grad life is hard to get used to, but I hope you know that seeing you felt so great and warm and comfortable and even though we're not totally BFFandE or anything you can still just call to chat if you ever want to. I really mean that. Love, Carlicurd!!!
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